Secrets: Phan
by rosie13849
Summary: Dan and Phil move into a new house that's bigger than they hoped, but it doesn't matter because now they have moved secrets are coming out of every one.
1. Dan's Pov

"NO TAKE IT BACK TAKE IT BACK" Phil yelled at me frantically "What it's just a little spider, scardy pants!" I said walking closer, and closer. "How would you feel if I caught a moth and used it agianst you!" at that moment I froze, Phil chuckled a bit stepping away " Fine I'll take it outside!" I said walking towrds the door. It was our last night in our flat, we decided to move into a real house, one that we don't have to walk up a million steps every day, but I had to admit I was going to miss it.

I set the spider outside the glass door, at it began to scurry off the balcony, Phil followed behind and waved to the little spider, "Good bye! I hope their isn't a bigillion of your family members left!" he said walking back inside. I trailed behind and sat down on our empty floor beginning to pack more boxes. "When are Jack and Dean supposed to get here?" I asked curiously "2:30" phil responded I sat and waited for their knock, finally I heard one. I walked down the stairs to find Alfie, Jack, Dean, Marcus, and Zoe. The boys were here to help pack, and move with us, Zoe was here for Phils emotional break down half way through the prosses.  
>"I'll get the kitchen stuff" Marcus said welcoming himself in, "I call the dining room, and living room" yelled Jack, also letting himself in. "Bedrooms for me!" Yelled Dean trollying his way up the stairs. "I guess that means I get the bathrooms, and offices" said marcus walking in. "You can come in Zoe" I said holding the door wider, she walked past "Thank you"p  
>"Wow it's so blank" She said looking around for a piece of nerdy furniture hiddin some where, but couldn't "Sorry we pulled you, we know you and Alfie are also moving" Phil said standing up to greet her "Oh no don't worry, I needed a brake from that" Everyone walked in at almost the same time with boxes, two to three at a time, we carried them down to the moving truck. Finally we were done, "NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS, PUT IT ALL BACK!" Phil said in tears "We can't, we already sold it remember. " Phil sloy walked to the front of the truck while Zoe walked behind comforting him.<br>"So what's the new house like?" Alfie asked walking to the front of the truck I trailed behind "Well it's big, and Phil's room is all the way across the house so I won't have to deal with him waking up in the middle of the night checking if I'm still up" I smirked a little knowing that either way he still would. "Well good for you, me, marcus, Jack, and Dean will follow in Marcus's car, and my car" Alfie said squeezing Zoe, "Okay" I said getting into the truck, Phil was still crying Zoe's arms were raped around him, I turned on the truck and began to drive, I was a little sad that we would have to leave, I knew I would miss living in the city, but it wasn't too far away from it.  
>"When we finally got there Zoe jumped out, Phil was sleeping, he was so cute, just lying there snuggled up to the window, I shifted over and shook his arm "Danny?" he asked i a soft tone, I wasn't sure if he was sleep talking agian "Yeah, It's me phil" I replied "Don't leave me agian" he stated I was confused I had no idea what he ment, we were together 247 how could I have left him "what do you mean?" he didn't respond. At that moment I knew that he was asleep, "Phil, What do you mean" he began to stretch. "What are you talking about mate?" he said in a Drosey voice. "Never mind" I said getting out of the truck.  
>"I walked to the back, and grabbed two of the boxes, I have to admit I was a little upset that I woke him up, I really wanted to know the answer, but I wasn't just going to ask him what he meant. I set the box down and walked up the stairs, their was atleast one stir case in between us, I was the third floor while he was the second. I continued to walk up the second flight of stairs, I put the boxes down. "Well this is going to be fun" Alfie said patting me on the back, "Well I'm excited, not for the unpacking, but more for the living in such a cool house." I said jokingly, this house had so many hiddin passages, tunnels, and even short cuts. It was definitly the best house I would ever live in. But Phil was terifide of the thought of a NEW housep


	2. Phil's Pov

"Look take a box, don't take a box, either way you're moving in!" Dean yelled at me Zoe walked by and hit him in the head, "You know how he is!" What did she mean by that, I was confused, and then it hit me, Everyone thought I was too emotional to function, but it wasn't true. I grabbed a box and took it up to my new room, Jack followed behind with three other boxes of my stuff, "It's furniture now" he stated as he put down the boxes, "Okay, that's fine" I said putting down my box, "Are you sure? I can get your stuff for you" He replyed "No I've got it." I said walking down the stairs, you can't bame me for being mad that everyone thinks i'm a 'crybaby' at least that's what they called me in school, but I thought I changed, I'm not the Phil Lester I used to be, and It was hard to hide who I used to be, the sad pathetic bullied wimp.  
>"Phil, are you coming?" I heard Dan ask from behind me, he was getting into the car with Alfie, "We're going to get the last of the stuff, you can tag along if you want" I turned around to see him standing at the car door. he was looking butiful as the sun shined threw his hair, the dream falshed through my head, I felt if I went with them I would blurt it out, "No, I'll just stay here and unpack my room." Dan looked suprised, It would have been my last chance to see the flat, befor it was gone "I'll stop by in a bit with Zoe" I said quickly knowing that I wanted to see it again.<br>"Dan jumped into the car, and they drove away "What was that all about?" Zoe asked, I got red in the face, the dream was suddle. And it flotted through my head again  
>"Dan is there any hot coco mix left?" I wisphered in his ear, "Only if you make me some" he responded quietly "Why would I leave you out, that's like saying you're going to move out and never talk to me agian" I said with a grin on my face, he gave off a weird inturpritation, but I couldn't tell why. "Yeah" He laughed I walked into the kitchen Dan Trailed behind, he wraped his arms arround my waist, "Dan?" I asked nervous "This is somthing i've wanted to do for the longst time" he said as I turned around, slowly our lip interlocked, I had a small moment were I didn't want to pull me away, but I knew I had to, "I'm sorry" Dan said walking out of the kitchen "Dan, don't leave!" I yelled, but it was to late, I felt a nudge on my shoulder "Dan?" I asked looking behind me "Yeah mate it's me" He said with his best smile "Don't ever leave me agian" I said embracing him, My eye flutterd open as I saw Dan next to me his face nerly cenimeters away. "What do you mean Phil?" he said "What are you talking about mate" I said stretching.p  
>Phil? are you okay, you sort of dozed of there a minute" Jack said patting my back, "Yeah I'm fine" I said putting the box down "I just need a rest" Dean looked confused as if he knew what I was thinking, but he couldn't. "Do you want to go see the old flat for the last time?" Zoe asked solemly knowing somthing was up, "I'll drive Phil, Zoe and Jack can ride together" I nodded as Dean walked towards his car, I trailed behind thinking, emwhat did the dream mean? why was I thinking about him in this way?I had no time to be thinking about silly things like that "So what were you thinking about back there?" Dean asked I didn't want to respond, me and Dean wern't the best of friends, we had our fights, but right now he was actually being kind to me "Nothing important" I responded trying to end the coversation, we were only about two minutes away, I didn't want to be kicked out the car. "Come on Phil, tell me" br "No"br /"Why not, you know I only want the best for you" he said placing his hand on my knee. It wasn't unatraule, Dan had done it a time or two, but Dean made me feel awkward. "Can you tell me?" he asked pulling into the parking lot "I don't think I should" I said in an angry tone Dean looked at me dead in the eye, and kissed me, my eyes widened. /p


	3. Dan, I do

Me and Alfie are sitting on the floor waiting for Phil to arrive, but it seems he isn't coming, I stand up and look out the window, then hear a knock on the door, Maybe that's him, I was worried sick he wouldn't be able to come, I walk down the stairs to see if he's on the other side of the door but unless Phil shrunk a few feet, grew longer hair, got plastic surgery to look like Zoe, and became a girl within an hour, it wasn't him "Oh, you're not Phil" I said widening my eyes and covering my mouth "I'm sorry, It's just-" I didn't know what to say "It's okay, I know he is your best mate, and you don't want anything to happen" But she doesn't know the truth she doesn't know how I feel about Phil no one does, not even Phil.

I know about his dreams I know he gets them because of me, but he doesn't know why, I pretend like I don't hear him at night, but I do, and it's my fault. One night back when we first moved into the apartment together, I heard him talk threw the walls. He was sleep talking, I listened for a moment then I realized it was about home, he was missing it and he was upset. I stood up to see what was wrong but as soon as I opened the door he woke up. "D- Dan?" he stuttered. "Yeah mate?" I asked in a worried tone "Come here" here called me closer I wasn't sure why "Don't leave me" he said. "I won't mate" I said "I'll be right on the other side of the wall if you need me" I didn't want to leave, if I did I wouldn't trust myself, I would come back in five minutes latter and I knew it, I stood up and began to walk away. "No Dan," He yelled sitting up and grabbing my arm "Don't leave me alone" I was generally confused "Phil? What do you mean?" I asked. "Can you sleep in here tonight?" he asked, "But I don't want to sleep on the floor" I responded  
>"Not on the floor on the bed"<br>"But your feet smell bad"  
>"please" he said giving me puppy dog eyes<br>"Fine but my head is going by yours" I responded, Phil smiled and patted the pillow beside him and directed me towards it. I layed down the bed and just stared at him in the eyes, then he finally fell asleep. I was about to go to bed when I heard "No, don't! I don't want to go! But what if people in London are mean!" I opened my eyes sat up and put his head in my lap, "Shh, Dan is right here, and he loves you, he won't be mean to you" I was stroking his long hair, and at that moment I fell madly in love with Phil Lester, I didn't admit for about three months but it finally warm up to me. I loved hearing the word "I love you, Dan" when he was asleep even if it wasn't real. Why do people think I stay up so late at night, Why do people think I enjoy sitting in his room playing on the computer until he falls asleep. Sometimes I sneak in just for minute to give him a good night kiss on the forehead and every time right before I leave I hear "I love you" slip out his mouth. Sometimes I think he's awake, but it's not possible, he would have told me by now, he's not good at keeping secrets. He never has been.

'Knock knock' I run back and open the door, Phil stands outside the door with a flushed look, I hug him as fast as possible "Are you okay? what happened? Why are you late?" I asked frantically, Phil looked down "Nothing" Something is obviously up "Where is Dean?" I asked, Phil looks up, Oh now I know Dean did something "he is in the car" I want to kill him, but for Phil's sake I won't for right now, I don't know what he did, but I sure as hell will find out. "Well I have to talk to him, I'm going to head down there" I said "No I think I should just tell you before he says something" I looked at him with a confused look

"Dean Kissed me, and I told him I liked some one else" He said, I didn't know who he liked, but I was intrigued, but I sure as hell was not going to let dean off the case like the that, but for now I want to know who. "Who?" I didn't want to seem to eager but i knew it shot off from the one word "He's not important" he said paused then covered his mouth, I didn't catch on for a few seconds then it hit me. he said he liked a boy, I knew he was Bi but I hadn't actually heard him say he liked a boy before. I wanted to know more, but I knew I wasn't going to get it out of him. "So what did Dean say?" I asked, "I don't want to talk about it, let's just say he's waiting for Jack so they can leave" I called jack down and told him to go, Zoe and Alfie trialed behind with the last two boxes, "You're lucky you can drive" Alfie said handing me a box "Well we better be on our way" Zoe said pulling him out the door, they only live two miles away, I mean they are how we found the house


	4. Phil, I know why

I knew why Dean Kissed me, he was sad. I knew dean better then any one else I knew he wouldn't cry but he would do some crazy thing to make others scared or worried. I honestly didn't mind that he kissed me, I was more upset that he didn't just tell me he was upset. It was okay, he wzas still worried about me, and my dreams. Zoe knew about them, but not about who they were for. It's obvious that i'm Bi, or that's what people think at least. When I was younger I was in a public school, I was openly Gay, I have no affection for Women, I still don't, but I tell people I'm Bi. First of all, so I don't get as much criticism about it, and second of all so if I were to meet a girl that I had feelings for people wouldn't mad at me. I'm more concerned that it slipped out that I liked a boy. Not really liked, but more loved. I would never tell him.

But what gets me is Dan doesn't think I know he sneaks into my room, I remember the night I told him to stay, but ever since then he's been sneaking in some nights he comes in to kiss me on the forehead others it's to comfort me, but either way I love it. I always slip out that I love him. But I know he only loves me as a friend, and he's just there to help me after that night. But I didn't want to move into the big house. Our rooms are so far away from each other. I was hoping I would still get the late night editing sessions but he had to buy me a Mac so I wouldn't have to. And worse then that we each have our own offices so I won't even get that much time with him.

In the car I stair out the window "So Phil?" Dan asks I wanted to just tell him about the dream about him and me my wishes but my mind wanders to Dean. "Dan I don't want you to get Dean to back off or anything" Dan's eyes widen like I was reading his mind "What do you mean?" It was obvious that I was right that he was going to talk to Dean "I know you were going to talk to him, he knew I had a bad dream on the way to the new house, I don't want you to blame it on him" Dan pulled over to the side of the rode "I won't on one condition" I didn't care what the condition was as long as he didn't hurt Dean, or even yell at him would break my heart " You have to tell me who you like" I froze I didn't want to tell him, or anyone for that matter. I had to make up some lie. If I said Chris it would be okay right? I mean Chris is Bi, he just won't tell the internet, and he likes Pj so he wouldn't even come after me "Chris" I say trying to sound as realistic as possible. Dan new something was up, I didn't him to know who it was. "We better get back before your live stream that would be two weeks of missing it" I said starring at the rode. I don't ever want to respond to Dan and his silly ways of asking who I like, but right now he's eager, to know "I don't care about my damn live show I just want to know if it's-" He pauses, What? If it's who? He begins to drive again "Dan! If it's who?!" that was the first time I yelled at him in a month I feel so bad, I don't want to hurt Dan I never did but if he's pushy, I'm pushy... I don't know why "If it's..." He pauses again "Some one I know"  
>"Really you big twat, that's all it is" I say just wanting to get out of this care. "Yes, just don't respond, i'd rather you not it's obvious it's not who I think it is" Who do you think it is Dan? I just want to hug him and tell him the truth, but I van't, he might hate me. I sit back in my seat, I hate when Dan is more concentrated on his thoughts then me. I always just want him to be well. Finally we're home.<p>

I walk into the open space. It doesn't feel like home, I fear it may never will, but one day hopefully, I walk into my room, pull out my phone and get onto the whisper app, my friend in America told me about it, she said "It's like a psychiatrist but no one knows your name." I begin to type 'I'm in love with my best friend and I won't tell him because he lives in the same house and it mig-' I look up to see the time '19:37' I have to take a shower I can finish this latter.


	5. Dan, Maybe

I Wish I could know what Phil was doing, at this point he was probably playing phone games, I think for a moment and then hear a shower start. Obviously Phil was about to get in but I had to ask him something. I decide to just text it to him so I don't forget. 'Hey so I don't forget, come to me after you get out of the shower, I love you' I decide not to send it, it sounds stupid, it sounds like i'm desperate. When I start to hit the backspace button my finger hits send. "NO!" I yell and pause, I don't hear the shower stop so I sneak up stairs to delete the message. I slowly sneak into his room I try not to make it obvious that I'm there. I know he just got into the shower, so he wouldn't get out especially if some one was in his room. I paused at the door to look for his phone, I see it laying on the bed. It's a black screen but luckily I know his password, and even if he changed it, it would be in his Diar... Journal. He got on my case so many times about how it was a journal not a diary and that I could only read the first page, I know where he keeps it, so I can check, I grab it from behind his Narnia books. Page 1, "YouTube, Google, Facebook, twitter, AH Phone Okay, 8867." I grab his phone and leave his diary open on his desk... "I guess it wouldn't hurt if I read one little page." I open it to yesterday 'Dear diary' So he calls it a diary 'I had the dream again, the one where Dan leaves after kissing me, but this time it was different, the end of course. I heard Dan voice and I woke up. Dan was so close when I woke up. I don't know if I was sleep talking but I hope I wasn't. I'm going to bed. Yours Truly Philippe'

I close it and smirk a bit maybe he did like me. I put it back and grab his phone "Dan?" I hear from behind me "Why do you have my phone?" I freeze I didn't want to tell him. "I need to barrow it" I say without thinking of a backup "Why?" I turn around to see him in a towel drying his hair. I could only imagine what was under that Towel... I need to stop he's my best mate, I can't "Dan, why?" he said walking closer to me. "I sent you something that was supposed to go to Peter, and i don't want you to see it..." I reply, most if it was true. Peter would die if he saw the message so I don't think that would be a good excuse. "Okay" he says walking to the other side of the room. I begin to log in "Wait!" I didn't know what was wrong, but he grabs the phone logs in and exits out of an app. At this point I knew he didn't like me he was worried I'd see something. I didn't want him to see the message so when he handed it to me I paused, I looked at the phone for a minute "Dan, Delete it" he said calmly "O-Okay" I stuttered and opened the messages I opened our conversation and deleted it, I exited out of the conversation and saw Zoe's 'Hey just wanted to know what was up? Was it about Dan?"

No I just want to say no, I drop the phone on his bed and walked out before saying another word "Dan?" I hear stopping me "Yeah Phil?" I respond "Never mind" He says, I hate hearing that it always makes me feel like i'm not important "No whats wrong?" I say walking closer, he's now in nothing but pajama pant's they're Christmas style, "I just don't want to sleep in my room alone it's fine" he says, I grab his arm arm "I'll grab my computer and be up in a minute...

*Authors Note~ So I have alot of stuff to do but due to procrastination! I wrote this I haven't gotten any reviews yet or anything, but I'll be completely honest. I write and make stuff up on the spot so I'm doing this to see how it end, I'm actually terrified with how it might turn out. So anyway forgive me for the mistakes, and check out my other Phanfiction (Phan, For the LOLZ) I finished that one up a while ago. Lastly leave a review, I'm thinking about how I want it to turn out. So maybe an Idea from a reader would be nice. Thanks see you next story


	6. Phil, He's gone

I love Dan more than anyone, but knowing he's hiding things is breaking my heart. I check my phone to see if he accidentally didn't delete it, but it's to late. I finish blow drying my hair When Dan comes back in he has his computer and charger I know he will probably only stay until I fall asleep, but I wish he would stay longer "Did you get your clothes out of the dryer?" He asks "I didn't put them in-  
>"I did it for you" he cut's me off "I'll go get them then" I stand up "I'll go to I need to put my clothes in the dryer" Oh so that's why so he could do his own. We walk down to the first floor and into the kitchen, down the stairs to the basement. "can you get the light?" Dan asks me "Of course" I turn around flip the switch and fall into the piles of junk, "Are you okay?" Dan yells running over to me, he is so worried that when he notices I have a cut he thinks it was from the fall. He didn't know about Dean. After I told Dean I couldn't be with him, he grabbed me, he squeezed my arm so hard, he began to claw, and I began to bleed, but I covered it no one saw it and I was good, until now. "Are you hurt? Do you need any medical assistance?" I shook my head he stood up still worried and pulled me up. "Phil?" He said "Yes?" I asked. He paused and moved closer I froze. What was Dan Howell about to do?<p>

"You have a smudge on your face, probably from the old boxes" he mumbled wiping it off my face. "It's fine, lets just get the laundry and go" I said beginning to empty the dryer. *Author note~ I began to get writers block around this part, so apologies if the rest is crap, I actually started to write and it turned into a adventure but changed it because there was nothing else to write about it* "Phil?" I heard a slight mumble behind me "Are you mad at me or something?" I paused and turned around to see Dan leaning on the washer. "Is it because we moved, I just thought-" I stopped him "Dan, I'm not mad at you, I'm not sad, disappointed, aggravated, or even angry with you. I'm just" I paused their was only one thing to say at this moment but the words could not come out, I feared they never would but some how a slither of what I wanted to say slipped out "scared"

Dan looked up "Of what? The house? Our friends?" he paused "me?" I didn't want him thinking like that, but before I could say anything he was running up the stairs "Dan! Wait!" I yelled but he was gone, I tried running after him before I could even get up the stairs I heard the front door shut. I ran up to my room to see if he left his computer, he was quick, I don't know how he did it, but he managed to get his phone and laptop and go. But that wasn't my biggest concern, my best friend was gone, the man I loved, the one who wouldn't let me be scared, but some how in a moment just got away. I picked up my phone, and called "Hey this is Dan leave a voice mail that would be great" It might have been the worse time to not pick up the phone "Hey Dan, Uh, you just sort of ran out, I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, I was just nervous. Or that's a stupid thing to say, Dan just come home... Please" I continued calling but it was just the same, Dan was gone and I was stuck. The dream was playing through. I walked down stairs after about the 15th call and looked into Dan's room, to see *Authors note I was honestly debating just stopping here and going to be, but cliff hangers are the worst so let me finish* his piano left untouched it was his new one, the one he got when I told him we were moving. It was to big to even fit into our old flat, but it was just small enough to go into the corner of Dan's bedroom. He hadn't even played it yet, he bed was unfolded his desk left a mess. "Dan Howell where in hell could you be!?" I yelled at the top of my lungs waiting to see if Dan would walk in and say "did you just say hell?" but he didn't. 'Buzz' his phone went off, he grabbed it to see if it was Dan, but it was just Cat, it was 4 AM, "Hello?"

"Hey!" she replied  
>"Um, why are you calling?"<br>"Just wanted to see how moving and stuff was going"  
>"At 4 AM"<br>"it's like 8"  
>"Cat..."<br>"Ohhhhhhhh, sorry, I'll call you back"  
>"Okay"<br>"Wait! Why are you so awake"  
>"Nothing, I'll talk to you latter"<br>"Okay, love you, bye"  
>"Bye"<p>

Goodness stakes I wish Dan would just walk through the door and tell me the truth, or I would tell him the truth. Just do it Dan... Walk through the door... And I sit here waiting for nothing to happen

*Authors note~ I got writers block right in the middle... so yay to that. Anyway I will be working my hardest to write more I actually started it out as like abandoned tunnels on Christmas and then half way through I said "how am I going to continue this?" so here is what you get 5:34 AM SC United states, I'm out yo!*


End file.
